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Administrator
Administrator
3303 Posts
Gratitude: 1022
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 Posted - 09/23/2007 : 13:13:13
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Dear Members,
Research has shown that lack of self-confidence is often a problem in both schizophrenia and depression.
Lack of Self-Confidence is defined as:
Lacks self-confidence; feels inadequate; doesn’t act decisively. Could you please tell our community if lack of self-confidence was part of your schizophrenia, and what made this better or worse.
Your comments will greatly help others facing these same problems.
Phil Long M.D.
Administrator 
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| firebird
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1555 Posts
Gratitude: 613
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Posted - 09/23/2007 : 15:59:40
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I often feel I lack confidence but that does'nt stop me from striking out on my own. People often tell me I have a lot of courage.
I often stick for people who are weaker than me and I can assert myself ok. |
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| peewee
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1520 Posts
Gratitude: 586
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Posted - 09/27/2007 : 02:04:30
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I'm naturally a very courageous and motivated person but I lack confidence in myself - in how I look as I know that people judge one by how they look. I think that I have no natural beauty and wont leave the house or let anyone else besides my husband and mother see me without make-up for a few minutes. I am also very self-conscious of my body and am always covering myself up - even when I weighed 42kg. I think what also played a big part in my development of schizophrenia was at 23 I was very innocent minded and had come out of a relationship of 4 years and I had no confidence in myself with the opposite sex, I became very shy and the first night I went out in years to a nightclub with work colleagues I met an incredibly attractive man who just kept on saying "you are my dream woman" and "When can we get married" blah blah the usual flirting but I was so taken back by that because it was years since I had a man (especially who was so attractive) and whom I found attractive too who made advances at me and two days later he was visiting my neighbours and I could hear him trying to find out if I was at home because he wanted to see me and I got so afraid that I tipped toed in the flat so that he couldn't hear I was there as I was afraid he would see me in daylight or without make-up on and he would think I was the most hideous looking female out. I was so afraid of rejection. I started hearing voices of what I thought was the neighbours and that guy and his friends making advances at me and commenting about me but I couldn't differentiate where the voices were coming from. The following time I went to the same nightclub that I walked past him and his friends and they were all dressed in white t-shirts and a girl with them - an ex neighbour said "Oh look, it's ...." and they were all staring and smiling as I walked past and I got paranoid thinking "Why are they all wearing white when I'm wearing white" and the one guy tried to tag at my jersey wrapped around my waist, I saw some male friends I'd known from highschool and I sat with them as we were all together then and I turned around and saw one of an older man that was with the people dressed in white standing and grinning at me with my neighbours that were all dressed in black, some were just staring straight as if they were in an oblivion - they were really freaky. That was it. I got home from work the one day to find someone had been in my flat and turned my ornaments around and upside down and there were black marks on my fridge which I pointed out to my mom. I was too scared to stay alone in my flat and I became very afraid of men. I started hearing persecutive voices and I became very paranoid after that evening and the more advances I got from guys, the more I insisted on friendship because I thought they would figure out I was ugly just as those voices were telling me. I thought these guys belonged to a cult and they placed withcraft on me and were practising mental telepathy and could read my deepest thoughts via internet and that I had a chip planted in my ear.I became very depressed. I developed hallucinations and delusions and became totally paranoid and lost touch with reality, I lost sleep, I lost weight and people were noticing I was not well. That happened very suddenly. I believe I had a psychological problem and with stress and strain and being a young woman living alone I became afraid and having the schizophrenic gene everything triggered off but I believe it hit me really hard in that first evening and that is where a big part of my schizophrenia developed. I also felt very ashamed as a woman as it felt like men and woman were reading my personal thoughts and I felt victimised and exposed and tormented.
Yet in the work force I remained very courageous and determined to climb the corporate ladder. I was told by my bosses to go off the medication or resign because I would lose my job, I never knew my rights then as I was so spaced out from the meds. I met all my targets at work and had to fight off the symptoms day and night and sadly my symptoms got worse and worse and I decided to resign. However I had the courage to endure two years of hard mental work. I was determined to continue working and did voluntary work and started a new job at a law firm. My boss was very old and very rude and told me I had no tally and I was stupid and don't understand simple instructions, he told me that everyday and I would hold back the tears and keep working - he even made life a misery for me when I was pregnant, when I resigned to go to this current job he begged me to stay - I said no ways. I've also had courage to fight for increases here and to do better and better in my job each day.
However the courage I had to get through those six years of being untreated was the prophetic wording that came from men and women at my church. I could not have done it in my own strength because the symptoms were incredibly strong and I wasn't coping - and my late father was constantly cursing and swearing at me calling me every name under the sun morning till night telling me to get out of his house and my family never said a word because they felt sorry for him because he had cancer and pushed me aside as a mentally ill person but they never spoke about my illness to me - so truly the Lord gave me courage in those very difficult years - it was miraculous courage.
I did my best, I can truly say that.
Hi PeeWee, It took great courage to go to work everyday despite suffering from untreated Schizophrenia. You mentioned that you started on antipsychotic medication after being ill for six years. This is typical for most individuals with Schizophrenia. Usually an individual with Schizophrenia suffers from psychotic symptoms for years before they seek medical help. You wrote beautifully about, in those early years, how it became more difficult to trust others, and how it seemed that others were constantly berating you. Tragically, this is a very common occurrence for those developing Schizophrenia. Nevertheless, despite the increasing Schizophrenia, you bravely went on. Your religious faith obviously was a source of hope, strength, comfort, and peace. Likewise, you mentioned previously that you had the loving support of your husband. Your experience with Schizophrenia is almost identical to literally hundreds of my own patients; yet we are thousands of miles away from you. This strongly suggests that Schizophrenia presents the same way, regardless of where in the world an individual lives. PeeWee, your posts are so honest, and so well-written; I can ensure you that others will benefit from reading how you found the courage to deal with Schizophrenia. Phil Long M.D.
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| Shawn6294
Full Member (100+ posts)
247 Posts
Gratitude: 52
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Posted - 11/22/2007 : 21:33:37
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| I'm confident but hesitant a lot of times, my nerves. |
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| spirit
Super Member (250+ posts)
959 Posts
Gratitude: 294
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Posted - 11/22/2007 : 23:23:36
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| Self confidence fails because of incompetence. I am very much indecisive. I let my help make the rules. I am very unclear with instructions and usually make a general mess of things attempted. It is because of cognitive skills I think. |
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| FinkPloyd
Starting Member
24 Posts
Gratitude: 5
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Posted - 12/22/2007 : 02:09:30
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I have none whatsoever, but I wasnt always this way, previously I was a quick-witted *****y bastard, but now im a total recluse. I think it has something to do with being paranoid, feeling constantly persecuted I cant even go outside without being immersed by fear. Only 3 days till xmas, and I wanna get pressies for everyone, but the thought of going shopping scares me. Dont know why...
Guitars are the best interface to the soul. |
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| Shawn6294
Full Member (100+ posts)
247 Posts
Gratitude: 52
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Posted - 12/28/2007 : 12:41:30
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I think self-confidence is a good thing but I hate arrogant snobby people, I know too many of them.
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| hercules21
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2584 Posts
Gratitude: 1447
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Posted - 04/17/2009 : 21:04:31
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I think I am worried about accidentally blurting out one day at work that I am a SZ. So I tend to watch my words carefully. I am not as talkative or outgoing as I used to be. I used to do public speaking and while I would like to get back to it - the thought of doing a two minute table topic impromptu is something that I couldn't pull off.
Strangely since I have told some of my darkest secrets in this environment I have had a little bit more self confidence. Don't know why that works but seems to have an impact. A small one though.
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Do You Have Problems With Lack of Self-Confidence?
