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 General Discussion: How To Survive A Psychopath
 How to deal with sociopath father?

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Lucelle De ville
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3 Posts
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Posted - 10/31/2007 :  06:27:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic

My father is a sociopath and I need some advise on the best way to deal with a person that I feel I need to keep a good distance from but who at the same time is family and has kidney failure and proably not many years of life left.

Any help is appreciated.

Thank you
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Posted - 10/31/2007 :  22:53:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi Lucelle,
You really are in a difficult spot. I was married to a sociopath for 16 years, so I know exactly what they are like. My advice would be to still protect yourself in any way you can emotionally , financially and any other way. Remember not to have expectations that he will change and if you choose to spend time with him, keep in mind that he is a sociopath and not get dragged into his lies, etc. I don't know, this is dangerous ground. I guess all you can do is what you feel you have to. But I'd be VERY careful if you decide to have contact at all.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
-- Angela Monet
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Lucelle De ville
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3 Posts
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Posted - 11/01/2007 :  01:43:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi Angela

Thanks for your reply. I normally try to do my duty as it were and make as little conversation as possible and just stick to the basics. I don't tell him anything about my personal life friends or work or only basic info. I only see him twice a week and am not alone with him for long but for ages I would dread going to the house where I grew up and would normally get angry by the time I got there. I always knew as a child something wasn't right about him. I think his mother was the same, she had several name changes (signed a false name on my parent's marriage cert) and the police were after her during the 1940s for conning people.

It's a difficult task and my mum lives away from him but they still see each other - we both know his years are numbered due to the illness so it really is a difficult situation.

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Posted - 11/04/2007 :  18:24:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi Lucelle, I wish you luck in this situation. I too have a sociopathic father and can only speak from personal experience. I personally have chosen to have nothing to do with mine, and that wouldn't change if he were dying (frankly I can't believe he's survived this long). I don't know the situation with yours, I guess you have to consider the amount of risk you're taking. I stay away from mine because he's particularly sadistic and his lifestyle is so unsavoury that there's nothing to be gained from being around him. If you do decide to go ahead and have contact in his final years, consider that sociopaths don't care about other people and that you'll be doing it for your own peace of mind and not his. Do you know why you feel a need to have this relationship? Perhaps you can fill this need from a safe distance, or perhaps this need cannot be filled by having a relationship with him. What is it that you hope to gain? It might be worthwhile examining this before you proceed in order to increase your chance of success.
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