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 Bipolar... and Sociopath?

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Lisandro
Starting Member

2 Posts
Gratitude: 3

Posted - 01/03/2010 :  04:43:05  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hello
I have recently come to the conclusion that I may be a sociopath. This conclusion was not taken flippantly, and at first I discarded the idea, but after educating myself fully I feel I have no option to label myself a sociopath.
I am being treated for bipolar disorder and have yet to vent my feelings on this subject to my psychiatrist for fear of what reaction I get. I would like some opinions; Below is an email I sent to an online psychiatrist, I've yet to receive a reply, and would like to know what the members of this forum think....

####
"Hello Dr Robert

I have read your replies to the "Tragic father of a sociopath", and also to the young man who is a self diagnosed sociopath. I want to give you absolute honesty (to which I have never given anyone - let alone a pychotherapist), and would like a reply if possible.

I have a feeling of ambivalence - I can relate to a number of the traits of a sociopath. For example;
Manipulation and conning -- I find great pleasure in having power over another person in any which way (emotionally, financially, or otherwise).
Grandiose Sense of Self -- I feel I am reasonably intelligent, and this thought has always troubled me, because I honestly believe I deserve more than others... as if it is my right. It troubles me because although it is what I believe, I know it to be entirely false.
Pathological Lying -- I get what I call a "cheap thrill" from lying to someone's face. My work and home life are both webs of highly elaborate lies, and I am now at the stage where people actually see me as an extremely honest person. During my lies I will drop in truths and half-truths in order to further convince the subject that what I am saying is correct, using eye-contact and body language. I am highly confident in my ability to lie, and believe I can talk my way out of anything.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt -- This is my main area of concern.... I have committed some heinous acts in my life, and have felt extreme anxiety for a number of years afterwards. But primarily my anxiety is over whether or not I will get caught, whether or not I will face any punishment... I do not feel "sorry" for my "victims" in any way. Does this feeling of pressure and anxiety over getting caught equate to guilt?
Need for Stimulation -- My life is extremely dramatic and I get a thrill from placing myself in dangerous situations. I have had problems with drink and drugs, and was addicted to Heroin for a number of years.
Incapacity for Love/Shallow Emotions -- A perfect example would be when my grandfather died... I definitely respected the man but I felt nothing. Not sad in any which way, and to be honest I was thinking more of the inheritance. At the funeral my emotions were staged (something I have become extremely proficient in) so no one was the wiser.
Parasitic Lifestyle -- Every single relationship I've ever had has been (in my eyes) an attempt to create what I would call a "lacky" - someone who will give me something, be it money or shelter, when I need it. I normally go for nice looking women with apparent insecurities (which I zone in on with great skill).

Now the reason I am emailing you is simple; I want to know if I am a sociopath. I understand that lack of guilt equals sociopath... what I feel after committing an act is fear more than anything. Fear of being caught, fear of being exposed.

I can empathise with people easily, I can put myself in their shoes (so to speak). I have made this an advantageous trait, because if you can truly appreciate what someone else feels, you understand their motivation, their desires. My conflicting feelings are causing paramount concern, because although I feel nothing when I do something wrong, I can empathise with how a victim may feel. I've been called the "life and soul of the party" amongst others and in general am a friendly and pleasant person. But it all feels like a facade, and I am unsure of my true goal. I feel like an actor and my life seems like a movie.

I would like to know what you think and take it from there.

Thanks
Jamie


Any opinions would be appreciated.
Thanks
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CBoo
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1669 Posts
Gratitude: 1850
Very caringVery wiseVery honestI agree

Posted - 01/03/2010 :  09:37:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Lisandro, welcome to MT. I have no experience with bipolar disorder, but I have done some research on sociopathy. Its not all that uncommon for someone who has sociopathic traits, more towards aspd than actual psychopathy, to also have an anxiety and/or mood disorder.

Having said that, Aspd is a very complex disorder, and I don't think its fair on yourself to self-diagnose it.

I'm not an expert, its just my opinion, but it seems to me that you do care to some extent for the consequences of your actions, which is IMO not sociopathic.

I really hope that you find the answer to your concern.

Take care,

Clare
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Lisandro
Starting Member

2 Posts
Gratitude: 3

Posted - 01/05/2010 :  06:31:58  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
quote:
Originally posted by CBoo

Lisandro, welcome to MT. I have no experience with bipolar disorder, but I have done some research on sociopathy. Its not all that uncommon for someone who has sociopathic traits, more towards aspd than actual psychopathy, to also have an anxiety and/or mood disorder.

Having said that, Aspd is a very complex disorder, and I don't think its fair on yourself to self-diagnose it.

I'm not an expert, its just my opinion, but it seems to me that you do care to some extent for the consequences of your actions, which is IMO not sociopathic.

I really hope that you find the answer to your concern.

Take care,

Clare



Thanks Clare, I find some comfort in your reply. I do care care about my actions - I constantly find myself analysing everything, and I do have a "conscience". But I feel like I am only acting "guilty" to justify my actions to others.

I do care about things and certainly do not go out of my way to hurt other people, but when I do it doesn't seem to bother me at all - and that bothers me!

Thanks again
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Dyson
Super Member (250+ posts)

329 Posts
Gratitude: 130

Posted - 01/05/2010 :  14:38:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I don't think you could have bi polar mood swings if you were a primary psychopath.

Just look for the symptoms. Did you fight a lot as a kid and rebel against authority figures? Do you keep doing things that are wrong and you know it but you do them anyway? Are you a natural born warrior? Fearless with what some would call wreckless behavior that could endanger you.

I looked up Dr Robert and found his green website. I also saw Whitewolf there.
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Maserati
Full Member (100+ posts)

106 Posts
Gratitude: 36

Posted - 01/25/2010 :  18:07:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
You are showing grandiosity, extreme need for stimulation and a tremendous ability to manipulate people. I'd try to treat your bipolar first before you conclude things. You have been antisocial, but calling yourself a long name while running with addiction issues and a whopping mood disorder it looks like, start somewhere, not on all fronts.

Grandiosity and need for thrills is bipolar to a T.

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