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Posted - 04/09/2010 :  13:24:33  Show Profile  Visit christonel's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Lately, I have been plagued by voices. They come at night and say things like “You deserve to suffer”, “Your family doesn’t love you”, “You are such a loser”. They taunt me with the Watchers, shadow people that torment me, telling me that they will get me as I sleep.

Last night they were talking about me and the “Deep Sleep”. They wanted me to overdose on my meds, just fall asleep and never wake up. I told them “NO! NO!” but they wouldn’t be quiet, a sirens song to tempt me. But I held fast, put in my earphones from my iPod and tried to drown them out.

I have been under a wicked amount of stress lately, not being allowed home, and I am sure that has something to do with it. I want them to stop. I am afraid that I will start to believe them once again, with their sincere persistence. Listening to them has gotten me in trouble before, and I don’t want any more trouble right now.

I am wicked stressed by this nightly torment; I don’t sleep well because of it. I am at my wits end. My pdoc wants to try a new med, clozapine, but it won’t start until I see her next at the end of the month. I am just afraid that they will never stop, that they will always be there, viciously attacking me.

I don’t know what to do, and am not sure if I am strong enough to dispel them, and not believe what they are saying to me. They are very persistent and persuasive. Not sure how much longer I can keep control.

I just want them to stop torturing me.

During the day, I hear whisperings, but by night time, they are in a full assault against me. And they are getting meaner as time goes on. What can I do? I don’t know.

I just need some thing to help me with this.

only an egg,
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Super Member (250+ posts)

722 Posts
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Very caring

Posted - 04/09/2010 :  13:27:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I went through the same thing for months. The only thing that helped was taking my meds and trying to get plenty of sleep. It also helps if you are around other people. If you are alone it seems to be worse... I feel your pain...
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Posted - 04/09/2010 :  23:20:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hey christonel;

All the literature on the web calls Clorazil the best anti-psychotic for limiting symptoms.
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Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

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Posted - 04/10/2010 :  03:40:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I am pleased that you know that it isn't real. Try to stay strong until you can get the med change.

I don't quite understand why you can't get in there to change sooner.

If this continues I would visit your local hospital and get them to give you a prescription.

Please read our forum on clozapine.

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